Lemme tell you something…

Posts tagged “Texas

SUSAN G. KOMEN: HOUSTON, TX – 2013

I didn’t realize it last year, but with the death of my Father in September, that month, in addition to all other reasons, has become my fix.

I fixate on it and to my surprise I’m somehow stuck.

My wife was sympathetic at first but that didn’t last long (because neither of us want to be whiners). So she kicked my ass into gear by getting us involved in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure this past October 5, 2013.

Things got off to a great start when she came back from getting our stuff. We gave our donation, she got us all nice and registered and everything, and came back home with our shirts.

I’m not a Survivor (Pink shirt), I’m Inspired (White shirt).

Me: “Baby, this is huge like an XXL.”
She: “Well it says XL.”
Me: “Honey, look at this thing on me.”
She: “We’re getting out of the house and doing something important. You got something better to do?”

Well of course I don’t. So we get up at 4:30am, drive to my sister-in-law, then over to our friend Angelica, and away we go to downtown Houston.

Are we going to Race for the Cure?

It’s a 5k! I’m not running 5k. I’ll walk.

Well then, walkers go last.

Suits me, let’s do this thing!

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

This mega shirt I’m wearing is like a dress! I’ll be doing most of the camera work. This is all about my baby!

Even the National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. guys get into it, trading their somber uniforms for red ones and pink hard hats.

Hey! It’s the Breast Men! There are many facets in contributing to the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, and believe it or not, these guys are one of them!

There is something so sad about seeing these breasts deflate at the end of the day.

It’s actually a pretty long walk just to get this far. But here we are!
Shit gets real at the START! We’re gonna do this 5K!

We have the Timberwood Middle School cheerleaders, cheering us on! Woo Hoo!

Final K of the 5K in the humid air and beneath a Houston, Texas sun.
Why yes, I’d love to be drenched in icy cold water very much, thank you!

Well of course we made it! There was never any doubt that we’d make it! We did our part! And now we’re looking forward to doing other … er… parts.

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VARMINTS: WASP

ECEvery morning that it didn’t rain The Night Before (and it does at least once a week here), I go out and lightly water the yard and plants by hand with my garden hose.

I do it when the dawn breaks, never in the dark, so I don’t wind up standing on a brand new fire ant bed built The Night Before.

This is Texas, we’re in a drought. We have to conserve water, yet at the same time, surrounded by so much green growing life, we can’t let our surroundings, trees, grasslands, everything, turn into dried out fire traps. So we water when it doesn’t rain.

This is Houston, so outside there are cockroaches the size of my thumb. I have the thumbs of a 6.2 tall man. I’ve no problem with cockroaches outside of my house. I see one on its back, I use the hose to flip them over so they can go about their business.

I love all manner of varmints. Even wasps: they never bother me. Sometimes one will land on my shoulder or arm. I just blow them off, and they float away on their way.

For the past two weeks though, as I take about 15 minutes to slowly spray in the back yard, there is this one wasp that, as soon as I spray up in a way that the water glitters in the sunshine, it comes out of nowhere and flies through the mist just beneath the main force of the water. Then it lands on the ground beneath the arc, and lets the water wet it. I never spray directly at the wasp, it catches the falling mist part of the spray.

When I move the spray away, it flies up and toward it again, to be under the arc. If I move the spray very slowly, it walks, bobbling along the many blades of grass, staying under the spray. It only does this in the backyard. It never follows me to the front.

Two weeks of this.

Today I looked online to see what the lifespan of a wasp is. It varies by species but the general lifespan of a worker wasp is about 40 days.

Out of all the various wasps and other insects around here, this particular one; reveals its own identity by coming around a certain time of the day, to a certain part of the yard, because it has come to expect an enjoyable light shower of water.

In about two or three weeks, this wasp with his or her special personality, will be dead.

I’m a bit bummed by that. I’m going to miss this wasp.


TRASH NIGHT IN TEXAS

ECI walked barefoot to take the trash out last night. The bag bumped up against the plastic garbage barrel and, before I could react, a snake whipped out from beneath the barrel, right across both bare feet, and off into the dark.

*Drama Button*

Now I realize how most people would react to this. I know how a lot of people would respond to reading this. And it’s not because I’m brave or anything that I responded the way I did.

The thing is…

I didn’t realize it was a snake until it had passed and I saw it slithering off, out of the porch light and into the night.

I didn’t even have time to do the little dance*, it was so fast.

It Happened! It was Over! It was Gone!

Which left me standing there, holding my bag of garbage, realizing only the history of what just happened, so that all that was left for me to do was say,

“Huh.”

*Come on, you know that “little dance” we do when we get surprised by a spider or snake or a bee in the ear. We all have our own little dance: it’s what makes us unique.


GETTING BENT WITH SPACE AND TIME

cryptohistoryfeoHow does spacetime get bent?

Easy enough to explain.

The Universe is torus shaped. Everything IN the Universe is connected TO the Universe because it all IS the Universe (yes, even that jerk sitting over there), and the weakest energy we know – gravity – is the very dynamo that pulls it all together. Not as a single mainframe reaching tendrils out across the abyss, but as an unimaginably vast series of networked nodules that fraction the oneness of all gravitational pull right down to their very atoms.

Does the Universe have a consciousness?

Of course.

The Universe has a consciousness because all is contained within it (which is why it gets capitalized, there is only one). If there was only a single consciousness at a single point in the Universe, and that lone consciousness was drunk off her ass and wondering why nobody wanted to hang out with her, she would be the Universal consciousness (that whole Everything Is The Universe dealy-bop I mentioned earlier). Nature abhors a vacuum but the Universe loves the idea of being “Torus-Shaped”. It melds harmoniously with the Universal consciousness

In short – The Universe is “At One” with being torus shaped.

But when some backward fucking yahoo says Doughnut-shaped, instead of Torus-shaped*, that REALLY gets the Universe bent!

Further reading (because, hey! I could be wrong!)
NASA Announces Results of Epic Space-Time Experiment

Space-Time And The Speed Of Light | Einstein’s Relativity

*No doubt that drunk idiot and her lone consciousness, screwing it all up for the rest of us!


We Came To Texas

ECMy wife and I have family out here. Mostly in-laws.

Well, they’re all My in-laws, not my wife’s. For Luz, they’re her actual family. Although some of her actual family are also married to some of her in-laws.

I’m the only atheist though. The big skeptic in the family, that’s me.

I’m not complaining, that’s the way it is with all of my family. Wonderful that some celebutard atheists can grandstand on their beliefs and call everybody else “Stupid” or irrational. Me, I have to either be tolerant or be an asshole. Being an asshole is a very small part of my physical make-up – as it should be – and I intend to stay that way.

So my wife and I hit the trail in our beloved 1998 Ford Mustang V6, along with our wonderful friend, Nina.

We left San Diego, California to share a Thanksgiving holiday with the Texas family!

So long to my bro, Kelly. So long to my step-nieces and step-nephew! So long to Natalie and Danny and Randy all the rest of my family and friends in San Diego and California!

Hoo be doo. Not much about Highway 8 driving across California.

Hoo be doo. Not much about Highway 8 driving across Arizona. Well, except for The Thing?

We connect to the I-10 which will carry us the rest of the way to Houston.

Hoo be doo. Not much about Highway 10 driving across Arizona. Well, except for The Thing?

Then we take a side road to a small, out of the way town about 60 miles from any main roads.

This is Sierra Vista.

Sierra Vista is next to Fort Huachuca, where the U.S. Army does all kinds of military test and experiment stuff.

What kind? I don’t know. It’s all classified government stuff.

In fact, they may not actually do military tests or experiments there! That’s how damn classified it is!

However, it is known that when you want an out-of-the-way military base to do your military tests, Ft. Huachuca is a good place!

Not that they do that there.

One thing I can be sure of is that the place has what Environmentalists call a Net-Zero school.

In fact, at the Colonel Smith Middle School Arizona, they specifically teach Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM).

Here’s a YouTube video.

And what do they teach at such a prestigious, Science school, certified by none less than the ultra Environmental Green non-profit organization, International Living Future Institute?

Water divining.

Water Divining

Our Green School is an Awesome Green School! And our Science is an Awesome Science!

I shit you not.

I couldn’t believe it myself.

Water divining.

A so-called “Green” school run by environmentalists: Accent on “Mentalists.”

Sierra Vista The Herald

No kidding. The article ran in this issue of Sierra Vista The Herald. But maybe the whole article was simply a mistake. After all, the newspaper also misspelled “Canvas”.

It’s definitely what I’d call a Net-Zero school.

Greenies love it though, so I’ll let this article in the Green section of  Huffington Post enthuse all over it.

Maybe a follow up issue of that newspaper printed some kind of correction. Maybe they were teaching superstition in class that day.

TiffanyBrown_work01

This is the art of my Cousin-in-law, Tiffany Brown.
It’s a portrait of her family.

Yeah. That’s it.

Ahem! Anyway…

Luz and I met up with my side of the family and Aunt Carol and Uncle Harry welcomed us with open arms.

A nice breakfast the next day and a tour through my cousin Daryl’s artistic home – courtesy of my very talented cuz-in-law, Tiffany, and we were back on the road.

A long and uneventful drive through Arizona.

A long and uneventful drive through New Mexico.

Those long drives through California, Arizona, and New Mexico were nothing!

Now comes the drive on the I-10 through Texas!

Well now that I’m back in Texas I have to eat stop in El Paso for a Taco Cabana! I just have to!

Ahhh!!! So much better after a meal at Taco Cabana! Now I’m ready for the great Texas crossing!

At first we cheered with every 100 mile post marker.

WOO HOO! 100 miles into Texas!
WOO HOO! 200 miles into Texas!
WOO HOO! 300 miles into Texas!
WOO HOO! 400 miles into Texas! Uh baby…?

Luz didn’t cheer with me at 400 miles.

“Baby! You didn’t cheer! 400 miles angel!”

WOO HOO! 500 miles into Texas!
“Aw honey! Come on! We’ve covered 500 miles! 500 freaking miles, baby!”
She gave me a withering, ‘Seriously? Come on.’ look at 500 miles.

LuzNina

400 miles, baby! We’re probably the only ones on the road for a hundred miles! Here! Let me capture the moment!

“Woo Hoo! 600 miles!
She glared at me at 600 miles.
“600 miles in …just one state! …is all.”

We stopped for breakfast at Cracker Barrel.

FeoNote: California has many good things, but one of the things about California that absolutely sucks is No Cracker Barrel.

But California does have Lucille’s, Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, Carney’s Hot Dogs, Rubios, and El Pollo Loco! They have some other stuff there too I think.

“woo… hoo … er … 700… miles”
She was asleep at 700 miles.

I did nearly all of the driving because, Holy freaking shit do I ever love to drive!

Texas500

Look honey! There’s a car on the other side! Finally! Another car! Honey?

And if you love to drive, good luck finding a better place to road trip than the state of Texas!

400 of it is at 80 mph! It may be no Autobahn, but it is one hell of a lot longer!

At this point I should mention that I’m a very experienced, life long road tripper, so I made sure we had everything we needed to handle anything that would come our way short of an asteroid.

Everything?

Believe it. We had Every. Single. Thing. We needed to handle Anything. Don’t road trip without it!

We would arrive in Houston safe and sound.

I've never known any state to be as mad for reading as Texas. You find gas stations - even chain gas stations - selling used books along the I-10.

I’ve never known any state to be as mad for reading as Texas. You find gas stations – even chain gas stations – selling used books along the I-10.

And we did!

What a great roadtrip!

WOO HOO!

Oh!

New thing!

The family in Texas has gone all vegetarian.

What will I do?

Yes, I will go to your church and be with the family to welcome the upcoming Holiday.

Yes, I will eat your vegetarian meals when we’re in your house among your company.

Yes, I will bow my head before we eat, hold hands, and let my sister-in-law say grace.

And I will do it all with true warmth and a genuine smile because I love you all.

Compromise: This is what being with family is all about.

Hell No, I will absolutely *NOT* eat a freaking TofuTurkey on Thanksgiving!

This is *my* country’s holiday and I will cook you all a delicious Thanksgiving feast with all the trimmings. And you will love it!

Compromise: This is what being with family is all about.

Tiffany - who also sculpts - gave Luz and I early Christmas presents. This is mine! It's about the size of a half dollar and my name is sculpted to look like earthworms!

Tiffany – who also sculpts – gave Luz and I early Christmas presents. This is mine! It’s about the size of a half dollar and my name is sculpted to look like earthworms!

So for nearly one full week (because whoever heard of a Thanksgiving dinner without leftovers?), the vegetarian part of my family ate meat.

Yes, I have returned to Texas!