They are the parts I admire and the parts I fear.
They are the parts I strive to be and the parts I’m ashamed of possessing.
They are the parts I’m glad I am and the parts I wish I never was.
They are the greatness I’ve achieved and the horrors I’ve committed, and all the beetling middles in between.
They are my public bravery and my private cowardice.
They are all the times I stood up for something and all the times I backed away.
They are the times I immediately knew I was the good guy, and the times I learned too late, that I was the bad guy.
They are my loyal heart and my roving eye.
They are my light, that I’ve learned to distrust.
They are my darkness, that I’ve learned to accept.
They are my compassion and my cruelty.
They are my truth. This is my honesty.
I walked barefoot to take the trash out last night. The bag bumped up against the plastic garbage barrel and, before I could react, a snake whipped out from beneath the barrel, right across both bare feet, and off into the dark.
Now I realize how most people would react to this. I know how a lot of people would respond to reading this. And it’s not because I’m brave or anything that I responded the way I did.
The thing is…
I didn’t realize it was a snake until it had passed and I saw it slithering off, out of the porch light and into the night.
I didn’t even have time to do the little dance*, it was so fast.
It Happened! It was Over! It was Gone!
Which left me standing there, holding my bag of garbage, realizing only the history of what just happened, so that all that was left for me to do was say,
*Come on, you know that “little dance” we do when we get surprised by a spider or snake or a bee in the ear. We all have our own little dance: it’s what makes us unique.
Easy enough to explain.
The Universe is torus shaped. Everything IN the Universe is connected TO the Universe because it all IS the Universe (yes, even that jerk sitting over there), and the weakest energy we know – gravity – is the very dynamo that pulls it all together. Not as a single mainframe reaching tendrils out across the abyss, but as an unimaginably vast series of networked nodules that fraction the oneness of all gravitational pull right down to their very atoms.
Does the Universe have a consciousness?
The Universe has a consciousness because all is contained within it (which is why it gets capitalized, there is only one). If there was only a single consciousness at a single point in the Universe, and that lone consciousness was drunk off her ass and wondering why nobody wanted to hang out with her, she would be the Universal consciousness (that whole Everything Is The Universe dealy-bop I mentioned earlier). Nature abhors a vacuum but the Universe loves the idea of being “Torus-Shaped”. It melds harmoniously with the Universal consciousness
In short – The Universe is “At One” with being torus shaped.
But when some backward fucking yahoo says Doughnut-shaped, instead of Torus-shaped*, that REALLY gets the Universe bent!
Further reading (because, hey! I could be wrong!)
NASA Announces Results of Epic Space-Time Experiment
*No doubt that drunk idiot and her lone consciousness, screwing it all up for the rest of us!
Face 1: Why is that light shining right in my face?
Face 2: Why did you step right into the light?
Face 1: I …? (steps back into the dark) Oh.
Face 2 (steps back into the dark): Better?
Face 1: Yeah, feel kinda dumb, though.
Face 2: I love you anyway.
Face 1: …
Face 2: You just made that face, didn’t you?
Face 1: What? No!
Face 2: Yeah, yeah.
Copyright 2013 by E.C. McMullen Jr.