Lemme tell you something…


Copyright 2000 by E.C. McMullen Jr.

It was right there in carbon black print.

ZOMBIES ATTACH TOWN is how the headline read and it went out across the nation and the world. Newspapers sold more that day than any since humans first walked on the moon. Some may have bought them because the headline was just so impossible, surely a future collector’s item. Others may have bought them to chuckle derisively over the misspelled headline, but it was no mistake.

I live in the town of Bunker, Arizona and fifteen days ago, Zombies attached my town.

There was no preamble to the rising. No apparent reason at all for the dead to Re-Animate. The zombies just came to life one night and like the old Romero movies, on through much of the day.

It may sound odd, but no one tried to shoot them. Everyone was just too stunned to do anything. Many of us thought we might be the butt of some secret reality show joke and  the zombies were actors in make-up. We soon realized otherwise.

They never went after anyone, and if you were old, slow, and helpless enough to accidentally get in their way, they would simply walk around you.

Then they went about attaching themselves to various houses and buildings throughout Bunker.

Nobody knows why they attach themselves to some houses and not others. There seems to be no forethought, no plan to it. I live in an apartment complex, for example, and not one zombie has attached itself to it.

I think we are being singled out but I don’t know why.

In any case, its become a source of embarrassment to be one of the very few places that cannot boast even ONE zombie.

Not that I like the zombies, they are a damn nuisance! All they do all damn day and all damn night is dangle attached to houses, stores and even street lamps; trying to start an argument with the living about the after life.

It’s hell for local businesses to have a zombie attached near their entrance.

You don’t even have to engage the zombies in conversation, just walking past them will do.

“The afterlife,” they say by way of a greeting. “Don’t get me started.”

At first, being polite, we felt obligated to listen. Then – after you can no longer stand their smell or breath, or have just grown bored and left – they’ll ramble on about the subject, talking until their rotten tongues fall out of their odorous mouths.

I tell you, you’ve never been so happy to see a maggot infested rotten tongue fall out of somebody’s mouth until you’ve seen it happen to a zombie.


WHEN ZOMBIES ATTACH, copyright 2000, E.C. McMullen Jr.
Artwork: Zombies Attach. Artist, Feo Amante.

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