Please be seated.
For those who do not know why they have been brought here, I am a Spirit Psychic.
Not, you understand, a Spiritual Psychic.
A Spirit Psychic: I channel the spirits in this bottle. Tonight’s spirits come from this 7-Year-Old Whiskey.
What? Well you can shut the hell up. Nobody(hic!) Nobody(hic!)…asked you!
Now then, as soon as I’ve finished this glass, you may(hic!) you may(hic!) you may all ask me any fucking question you like, and the god damn spirits will answer yer ass.
O, yea? Izzat so? C’mere! ‘M gonna kick yer m’thr fuh, fuh, fuh, ckckck’n Asssssss!
Bloooooooooooo!!! Blooooo! Bloooo!!!
Blech! ‘Scuse me a minute. Okay. Th’ spirits are re-re-ready to spe-ak.