SEIZE ALL THE PHONE RECORDS!
Tyranny? I’LL show them tyranny!
Um… does anyone know how to start a tyranny?
Oh! It’s that button?
Really? All by phone these days, huh?
You know, I always- Whu- Hello? Oh! Verizon? Hi. I’m the president and I’d… Yes, the presi- ahem – The President of the United States.
Uh huh. Okay. firstname.lastname@example.org.
Yeah. No, I already have a carrier- Listen, I’m calling to have you hand over all of your phone records to my administration.
Why? Er… hang on.
(they want to know why.
Oh! Ha! Good idea! Of Course!)
Because I’m the God Damn President of the United States and I just TOLD you that I want to Seize (khee! heh! heh! heh!) all of your private phone records and I want them NOW!
Uh… yes, I’ll hold.
NSA seizes phone records of Verizon customers
Hey America — ‘Can You Hear Me Now?!’ Obama, Verizon, and Executive Power Run Amok
Obama administration defends collecting Verizon phone data
NSA reportedly collecting phone records of millions, though officials had denied holding ‘data’ on Americans
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A Letter to Verizon Customers
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