Lemme tell you something…

We Came To Texas

ECMy wife and I have family out here. Mostly in-laws.

Well, they’re all My in-laws, not my wife’s. For Luz, they’re her actual family. Although some of her actual family are also married to some of her in-laws.

I’m the only atheist though. The big skeptic in the family, that’s me.

I’m not complaining, that’s the way it is with all of my family. Wonderful that some celebutard atheists can grandstand on their beliefs and call everybody else “Stupid” or irrational. Me, I have to either be tolerant or be an asshole. Being an asshole is a very small part of my physical make-up – as it should be – and I intend to stay that way.

So my wife and I hit the trail in our beloved 1998 Ford Mustang V6, along with our wonderful friend, Nina.

We left San Diego, California to share a Thanksgiving holiday with the Texas family!

So long to my bro, Kelly. So long to my step-nieces and step-nephew! So long to Natalie and Danny and Randy all the rest of my family and friends in San Diego and California!

Hoo be doo. Not much about Highway 8 driving across California.

Hoo be doo. Not much about Highway 8 driving across Arizona. Well, except for The Thing?

We connect to the I-10 which will carry us the rest of the way to Houston.

Hoo be doo. Not much about Highway 10 driving across Arizona. Well, except for The Thing?

Then we take a side road to a small, out of the way town about 60 miles from any main roads.

This is Sierra Vista.

Sierra Vista is next to Fort Huachuca, where the U.S. Army does all kinds of military test and experiment stuff.

What kind? I don’t know. It’s all classified government stuff.

In fact, they may not actually do military tests or experiments there! That’s how damn classified it is!

However, it is known that when you want an out-of-the-way military base to do your military tests, Ft. Huachuca is a good place!

Not that they do that there.

One thing I can be sure of is that the place has what Environmentalists call a Net-Zero school.

In fact, at the Colonel Smith Middle School Arizona, they specifically teach Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM).

Here’s a YouTube video.

And what do they teach at such a prestigious, Science school, certified by none less than the ultra Environmental Green non-profit organization, International Living Future Institute?

Water divining.

Water Divining

Our Green School is an Awesome Green School! And our Science is an Awesome Science!

I shit you not.

I couldn’t believe it myself.

Water divining.

A so-called “Green” school run by environmentalists: Accent on “Mentalists.”

Sierra Vista The Herald

No kidding. The article ran in this issue of Sierra Vista The Herald. But maybe the whole article was simply a mistake. After all, the newspaper also misspelled “Canvas”.

It’s definitely what I’d call a Net-Zero school.

Greenies love it though, so I’ll let this article in the Green section of  Huffington Post enthuse all over it.

Maybe a follow up issue of that newspaper printed some kind of correction. Maybe they were teaching superstition in class that day.

TiffanyBrown_work01

This is the art of my Cousin-in-law, Tiffany Brown.
It’s a portrait of her family.

Yeah. That’s it.

Ahem! Anyway…

Luz and I met up with my side of the family and Aunt Carol and Uncle Harry welcomed us with open arms.

A nice breakfast the next day and a tour through my cousin Daryl’s artistic home – courtesy of my very talented cuz-in-law, Tiffany, and we were back on the road.

A long and uneventful drive through Arizona.

A long and uneventful drive through New Mexico.

Those long drives through California, Arizona, and New Mexico were nothing!

Now comes the drive on the I-10 through Texas!

Well now that I’m back in Texas I have to eat stop in El Paso for a Taco Cabana! I just have to!

Ahhh!!! So much better after a meal at Taco Cabana! Now I’m ready for the great Texas crossing!

At first we cheered with every 100 mile post marker.

WOO HOO! 100 miles into Texas!
WOO HOO! 200 miles into Texas!
WOO HOO! 300 miles into Texas!
WOO HOO! 400 miles into Texas! Uh baby…?

Luz didn’t cheer with me at 400 miles.

“Baby! You didn’t cheer! 400 miles angel!”

WOO HOO! 500 miles into Texas!
“Aw honey! Come on! We’ve covered 500 miles! 500 freaking miles, baby!”
She gave me a withering, ‘Seriously? Come on.’ look at 500 miles.

LuzNina

400 miles, baby! We’re probably the only ones on the road for a hundred miles! Here! Let me capture the moment!

“Woo Hoo! 600 miles!
She glared at me at 600 miles.
“600 miles in …just one state! …is all.”

We stopped for breakfast at Cracker Barrel.

FeoNote: California has many good things, but one of the things about California that absolutely sucks is No Cracker Barrel.

But California does have Lucille’s, Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, Carney’s Hot Dogs, Rubios, and El Pollo Loco! They have some other stuff there too I think.

“woo… hoo … er … 700… miles”
She was asleep at 700 miles.

I did nearly all of the driving because, Holy freaking shit do I ever love to drive!

Texas500

Look honey! There’s a car on the other side! Finally! Another car! Honey?

And if you love to drive, good luck finding a better place to road trip than the state of Texas!

400 of it is at 80 mph! It may be no Autobahn, but it is one hell of a lot longer!

At this point I should mention that I’m a very experienced, life long road tripper, so I made sure we had everything we needed to handle anything that would come our way short of an asteroid.

Everything?

Believe it. We had Every. Single. Thing. We needed to handle Anything. Don’t road trip without it!

We would arrive in Houston safe and sound.

I've never known any state to be as mad for reading as Texas. You find gas stations - even chain gas stations - selling used books along the I-10.

I’ve never known any state to be as mad for reading as Texas. You find gas stations – even chain gas stations – selling used books along the I-10.

And we did!

What a great roadtrip!

WOO HOO!

Oh!

New thing!

The family in Texas has gone all vegetarian.

What will I do?

Yes, I will go to your church and be with the family to welcome the upcoming Holiday.

Yes, I will eat your vegetarian meals when we’re in your house among your company.

Yes, I will bow my head before we eat, hold hands, and let my sister-in-law say grace.

And I will do it all with true warmth and a genuine smile because I love you all.

Compromise: This is what being with family is all about.

Hell No, I will absolutely *NOT* eat a freaking TofuTurkey on Thanksgiving!

This is *my* country’s holiday and I will cook you all a delicious Thanksgiving feast with all the trimmings. And you will love it!

Compromise: This is what being with family is all about.

Tiffany - who also sculpts - gave Luz and I early Christmas presents. This is mine! It's about the size of a half dollar and my name is sculpted to look like earthworms!

Tiffany – who also sculpts – gave Luz and I early Christmas presents. This is mine! It’s about the size of a half dollar and my name is sculpted to look like earthworms!

So for nearly one full week (because whoever heard of a Thanksgiving dinner without leftovers?), the vegetarian part of my family ate meat.

Yes, I have returned to Texas!

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One response

  1. Wonderful article! You had me laughing out loud and simultaneously admiring your wife’s patience. On a side note; I gave the vegetarian thing a try myself in October, but gave it up in November, simply to avoid a tofu turkey. Thanks so much for including some of my work! Love you, cuz!

    December 4, 2012 at 9:19 am

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